Just looking for an avenue to rant and make some noise so if anyone happens to read this, please bear with me. 

    I have dedicated my past 3 months to the planning and execution of the Asian  Windsurfing Championships. Most of the things went well while some problems remain buried beneath the surface away from outsiders’ knowledge. It was a success to the audience but sure enough it wasn’t perfect to me. I have grown and learnt a lot of knowledge through the entire process of organizing the event and I am certain that will help me in all my future endeavors.

    After all the hustle, both championships concluded with a bang and I can finally feel the burden lift off my shoulders. What only remains for now will be just the post mortem review and tallying of accounts. Although things are of less urgency now, life has remain damn freaking busy for me. I was totally wrong that i could wind my engine down a notch or two. 

    Here comes the aftermath. I missed a good 3 weeks worth of lessons and discovered that I have two mid-term tests for the following two days. The best part of it? I haven’t got the time to start mugging for them and they count into my final grades for the semester. There is a shit load to study and I am damn tired now. I have been feeling nauseous the entire morning and had diarrhea for the whole day. My body feels weak and aching as if I am having a fever. My right feet still remains sprained after a few days.

    Despite being in such a condition, I plucked out all my energy and helped my family with my family business. I started work from 730pm all the way till 1130pm, helping my dad pack for his next day deliveries. I wasn’t in a position to complain as it was the first time I am really working to help my family out with all the work since the first day they began. My uncle and aunties helped me with my work despite being tired after an entire day worth of work and refuse to take their rightful rest no matter how much I persuade them.  With 4 helping hands, my working hours was only 4 hours. Imagine how late I would have to work if I had to work alone. I felt really touched as their help definitely helped me saved lots of time which will be useful for me to start studying for tomorrow afternoon’s test. 

    Then I saw my poor grandfather who has also been helping and working the entire day for the past few weeks. His torso had this slant towards his right which shows that he had been in that position working for a few weeks. On top of that, he remains insistent of being ok despite him having rheumatism working against him. My heart simply aches looking at him like that and I feel extremely guilty towards him. If not for the Championships, I would probably be at home everyday doing all his work in his position and he could take more relaxing roles. I haven’t got the time at all for the past few weeks to help him at all and to make things worst, I can’t even make it up to him at all as all the work will be done in a few days time. I thought of skipping school to stay home and help him out, but I realized I can’t do so as I am having my mid term tests the following two days. I will also have to start doing my project parts to make it all up to my project mates for the past 3 weeks. I really must have been blind to not notice my grandfather’s condition in that past 3 weeks until today which is almost the conclusion of the season for my family business. 

    I am feeling damn emotional and tired now, not knowing how to prioritize my time anymore as everything is of extreme and equal importance to me now.The feeling of helplessness simply engulfs me. My loved one, studies, family business, my sport commitment and friends all piling onto me. Somehow this stress feels heavier than that of the running of my event. I feel as if I cannot cope with everything anymore and just wanna run away to hide from everything. The only thing I can do and am doing is to slowly finish up my tasks one by one at my best possible condition. 

    The lifeless feeling totally results in me neglecting my friends messages and calls and some minor things that needs me to do. By typing this post, I must say that this is the first time I have used my computer for a long period of time since the conclusion of my event. I have not been able to enjoy myself surfing web, chit chatting on MSN or watch videos on my computer for the past 3 weeks. This feels totally ridiculous. Sorry to all my friends, but Khai Wan needs air to breathe to get his body moving for all the things he needs to do. I also don’t feel like talking when I go to school or anywhere but just conserve my energy to get things done and cleared.

    There are other worries in my mind such as the management of my own windsurfing club back in school. Honestly speaking, it is totally in shambles now and I really need a miracle to bring it back to its feet. I guess this is totally my fault and I really have to think of ideas to spurt life back into it again. I have never once deserved the role of the President and don’t think I have contributed much to the club either. Now I am only left with a couple of months to work this miracle out. 

    The other worry will be having to take up 5 modules this semester as I have to overload and repeat a module. Having 4 modules to mug and prepare for is already quite madness. Now I have 5 instead of 4. I really cannot afford to waste a single bit of time to make sure that I graduate and convocate this coming August. I am sick and tired of school life for now and really cant wait to start working soon. 

    ARGH!!!! SO FREAKING MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY TIRED! Ok.. I have wasted 1 hour ranting and typing this out so as to get things out of my heart and mind. Its 115am in the morning and I have to start studying for my test tomorrow afternoon. Good luck to myself.  


    Taken with Canon 7D with EF 50mm f1.8

  3. Examinations are over and all went well! I dedicate this picture to those who are finishing their examinations or have finished your examinations! Guys who are in their final leg of their tertiary life please enjoy our very last “school holidays” before we are officially classified as Graduate and Unemployed

    Taken with Canon 7D with Canon 50mm f1.8

  4. A spunky little kid who was daring enough to play hide and seek with me when I was trying to take a snap shot of him. Really nice kid to play with and managed to talk to him a little bit. Sad part is I forgot to ask for his name! 

    Taken with Canon 7D with Tamron 17-50mm f2.8 non-vc 

  5. Koran is a religious practice that that our Muslim counterparts must perform at least once in their lives if they are able to afford it. The other reason for performing Korban is when a family has a newborn child. The family must then sacrifice a lamb before the child reaches 12 years old. I hope I am not not wrong here though I can’t really remember the full story to it.

    Taken with Canon 7D with Tamron 17-50mm f2.8 non-vc

  6. Being early at the fishing port ensures you get the freshest of the daily catch. Fish mongers and restaurant owners do make their best effort daily to pick out the freshest fishes for their business. 

    Taken with Canon 40D with Nikkor 105mm f2.5 AIS 

  7. Nervousness

    A prelude to my next upcoming series of photos. I didn’t really want to post this up just yet but it symbolizes my feelings really well. This is a scene taken during the recent Hari Raya Haji Korban.

    The lamb was brought up onto the sacrifice table and got pinned down by the people around. It literally was scared out its shit as you can actually see its droppings behind it on the table itself. I guess lambs have feelings too and it knows what will be happening soon. Will talk more about this for the future posts.

    Exams results are coming out tomorrow morning and I am scared stiff too. This will determine whether if I will graduate next year with the rest of my friends and project mates. Good luck everyone! 

    Taken with Nikon FM with 50mm f1.4 AIS Superia 200

  8. Fishmonger hard at work; chopping up freshly caught fishes in the wee hours so that housewives could purchase them at the market. They work through the night so that we can have freshly steamed fish on our dining table at night with our loved ones.

    Taken with Canon 40D with Nikkor 105mm f2.5 AIS

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